Dandurand Fortune Cookie Dunning Dep’ Love

Posted in ery on June 25, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

Introduced and heralded by Birdman, brewed in New York, under supervision by a QC brewery, reppin’ tax-dodging export-import status, like Kahnawake smokes eh; Saint Laurent is a $7.21 (including tax and deposit) six pack that actually tastes like something, yet goes down faster than a blonde d’Été.

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“Hey! Isn’t there supposed to be someone attached to this thing?”

Posted in Tourist Information on June 24, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

“I just got a great shot of Uncle Tito!”
“Where is Uncle Tito?”
“Don’t know, can’t see him.”
“Do you see him?”
“No, I don’t see him.”
“Oh, maybe that’s him.”
“He’s waving his hands and has no board.”
“Do you see his board?”
“Nope.”
“Oh $hit!!!”
 

So, there’s that nifty little piece of rope that helps attach the leash (or leach, in localspeak) to the board. It’s been said that tightening this little piece of rope is quite important. It’s also been said and proven that Lachine is a board wrecker. Therefore, it goes without saying that the ideal place to break in a custom, unsurfed Glenn Minami is in Lachine. Whether or not you get to surf the board a second time is a matter decided by Last Chance Island swillers. Unfortunate factoid: stay calm and complete the 10 minute rock drag and 30 minute swim back to shore or panic and slip below the waves

stayin cool

Posted in Current Events Class on June 23, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

like. brok—en glass under my feet.
i can lose my mindddd. in this heat.

In-Group Bias

Posted in ery on June 20, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

Them: MEC members, granola bars, Nalgene©bottles of water, sponsor & crew stickered up buckets, latest & greatest matching ‘yaks, matching life jackets, jet ski assist, no lighters and no matches.

Us: Kijiji warriors, smoked meat sangers, deal-of-the-day tall cans, mix of full and receding hairlines, damaged boards and fins, nothing matching, paddle power, toots, backup lighters.

No hatin’ just sayin’.

Full Day Grind

Posted in seasonal life style on June 19, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

20min commute by Volvo. Tunnel FILLED with silica dust.

Sunriser session.

Stash boards in 7th ave compost.
Drink Gatorade. Seriously.

25km commute by velo with honorable Strava results.
Work and sleep on park bench – Drool and miss alarm kine sleep.
25km commute by velo with less remarkable speed.

Pineapple and a PR.
Sunset session.
Share last piece of free cheese pie from Almondo.
20min commute by Volvo. Tailgate-sized hole now repaired.

Any-way to escape mid 30’s heat with 5 star humidity.

Sunday Txt In

Posted in Current Events Class on June 18, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

Less informative than the h67 community facebook page (or is it?), but here is Sunday’s eyewitness wave report.

RECEIVED AT 6:09am
“H67 morning report: more likely to get in a fight with the birds than surf…board of the day: wave jet SUP”

The Superlative Hyperbole: Q’s but no A’s

Posted in Profiles on June 13, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA


Are you running for mayor this year or just gonna accept the bribe(again)?
Do you believe the salt content of an Almondo poutine helps your body maintain a sustained boiling point sufficient to surf in baggies when the water is sub 60 degrees Fahrenheit?

How many swim strokes does it take to return to playa Verdun, dragging your board behind?
At what point does black wax turn white again?
Do you get a lot of fisherman questioning your amphibian status?
Is that a fin or a tree stump?
Do you need to break your leash twice in as many days to receive some sort of mild workout?
When was the last time you caught a fish with your bear paws bare hands?

…to be continued