Archive for the Tourist Information Category

“Hey! Isn’t there supposed to be someone attached to this thing?”

Posted in Tourist Information on June 24, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

“I just got a great shot of Uncle Tito!”
“Where is Uncle Tito?”
“Don’t know, can’t see him.”
“Do you see him?”
“No, I don’t see him.”
“Oh, maybe that’s him.”
“He’s waving his hands and has no board.”
“Do you see his board?”
“Nope.”
“Oh $hit!!!”
 

So, there’s that nifty little piece of rope that helps attach the leash (or leach, in localspeak) to the board. It’s been said that tightening this little piece of rope is quite important. It’s also been said and proven that Lachine is a board wrecker. Therefore, it goes without saying that the ideal place to break in a custom, unsurfed Glenn Minami is in Lachine. Whether or not you get to surf the board a second time is a matter decided by Last Chance Island swillers. Unfortunate factoid: stay calm and complete the 10 minute rock drag and 30 minute swim back to shore or panic and slip below the waves

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the first rule of fight club is

Posted in Tourist Information on June 11, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

Tuff Times: Technology Fail

Posted in Tourist Information on May 31, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

“Bro! The flow meter is broken! And anonymous is gonna shut down the F1! Bro!”

Luckily, we’ve got our people on the ground, chasing Charlie straight through the tunnels to Hamburger Hill.

“Waves is 8/10 a bit flat but mad speed on the frontside.
Quality of the water: 2/10
Level: Don’t know. Seems like Anonymous hack the site it’s been block for to days.
Crowd: nsp seams to be the $hit out there.
Enjoy”

“This is Oli with the Thursday wave report…all white.. board for the day: a zodiac.. chinos at 5”

The community chimes in and we all benefit.
And by all, I refer to the two dedicated SS readers.
BTW WTF is chinos?
A barbershop in the BX ‘burb of LaSalle?

les etoiles ca veut rien dire …

Posted in Current Events Class, Dark Chamber, Tourist Information on November 11, 2011 by SLUDGE SODA

bon ce matin  je me suis levé , jai regardé mon site de prévision surf préféré , 5 etoiles nice , le seul problem la direction du swell

donc lessons du jours

”  A 2 STARS DAY IS WAY BETTER  THEN A 5 STARS CLOSE OUT  ”

ditch work. go surf. and learn.

Posted in Tourist Information on November 3, 2011 by SLUDGE SODA

the following is a post-fresh air dialogue lacking explicit detail. the names have been removed to protect the noble.

“Yeah, but 3000 meters isn’t a terribly long hike, why do you need the donkey?”

“Well, first you stop at the village market and drink two glasses of San Pedro. Then, you hop on a donkey and ride up the mountain. The donkey knows the trail, but there is no chance you can find your way after consuming the Huachuma. Plus, the plant clears out all bodily fluids; you puke your guts out, then you shit until that’s empty too. Once all the toxins have left your body, you are left with a 10-12 hour full-on, mescaline trip. The mountain is so high, you feel like you can reach out and touch the moon.”

“Oh, now I understand why you need the donkey.”

tech-nique from cedric the plumber

Posted in Tourist Information on August 31, 2011 by SLUDGE SODA

addendum to rio surf 101 from conrad orrison

the swimmer is…

a) mark tewksbury’s contribution to surfing
b) completely functional and utterly disgusting
c) safety first b*tches
d) to river suffering what the wool knit sweater is to pm Stevo Harper
e) ___________________________________________

BP Offshore

Posted in Tourist Information on June 11, 2011 by SLUDGE SODA

spot guide realization drop – the ideal wind is a bishop power westerly.
best experienced in the trough.

or in the ninja tabi boots of others.