Fortune Mookies

Summer is upon us and the Big Juice is off the meat rack. Time to dump your job and quit your girl. Double sessions are easier to pull off when you’re free-bird.

Bronx Mayor Mega Mike knows this better than anybody. But, believe it or not, this Texas Freebird is actually two-timing at the moment…slanging ghetto pizza & poutine and settin up land-lubbers in recycling bins. So much so that according to him, he’s “got money coming out of (his) ears.”

I almost flipped my wig when I heard him talkin like a banker. I came back into orbit when he cracked the following fortune: “But, money isn’t everything. We only get one summer a year…and once it’s gone you can’t buy it back.”

But Mega’s much more than a deep thinker. His paddling technique is so sound that he could probably free-swim out to Big Joe. It’s gotten to the point where we’re pretty sure “water’s scared of the guy”. I guess that explains how he can bike out to China.


3 Responses to “Fortune Mookies”

  1. LaSalle Conservation Officer No. 37 Says:

    Mega Mike was mistakenly tagged for study during a roundup of all the river otters inhabitating Parc des Rapides. Researchers found it extremely peculiar for an otter to consume raw fish, sausages and beer at such an alarming rate.

  2. Mega Mike paddles so fast we redesigned our entire fleet to match his hydrodynamically curved chassis.

  3. Churchill Fin Company Says:

    Mega Mike has such an efficient paddle stroke, we have modelled three generations of swim fins off a 60% size sample of his hands.

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