Archive for May, 2012

Tuff Times: Technology Fail

Posted in Tourist Information on May 31, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

“Bro! The flow meter is broken! And anonymous is gonna shut down the F1! Bro!”

Luckily, we’ve got our people on the ground, chasing Charlie straight through the tunnels to Hamburger Hill.

“Waves is 8/10 a bit flat but mad speed on the frontside.
Quality of the water: 2/10
Level: Don’t know. Seems like Anonymous hack the site it’s been block for to days.
Crowd: nsp seams to be the $hit out there.
Enjoy”

“This is Oli with the Thursday wave report…all white.. board for the day: a zodiac.. chinos at 5”

The community chimes in and we all benefit.
And by all, I refer to the two dedicated SS readers.
BTW WTF is chinos?
A barbershop in the BX ‘burb of LaSalle?

Casserole Night in Canada?

Posted in Current Events Class on May 30, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

Close your mind. Listen to our elected officials puppeteers. Use the rope. Buy ‘eco’ products and the hypocrisy. Picture Don Cherry and Ron Maclean. What’s up with that fucking tie, bro?  Then, listen to this and run to the streets for some pot and pan banging. And such. It might even warrant a resurection of the war measures act.

After working up a thirst in the streets, ya might as well just go check out the Yardlets at Divan Orange, to quench your thirst.

I’m sure iphones take nice pictures, but it just isn’t the case with me behind the wheel.

NWA or BWA

Posted in diatribe on May 26, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

Why the ‘B’ word is the new ‘N’ word:

a) Generally, calling any random Joe, bro, can be interpreted as disrespectful.
b) Calling the wrong person bro elicits the same scolding reaction as calling the wrong man n____.
c) A bro assumes that all similarly dressed bro’s are receptive to being called bro.
d) Most bro’s overuse the word bro to the extent Lil Wayne overuses the word n____.
e) If the NAACP had governance over the ‘B’ word they would surely denounce its usage on the basis of respect for fellow man.
f) Most, if not all bro’s fail to realize the irony of the term bro.

The Urban Dictionary provides crystal clear bro identification tools:

1. An alpha male idiot: white, 16-35 years old, inarticulate, belligerent, talks about nothing but chicks and beer, has a rich dad that owns a dealership or construction business and constantly tells this to chicks at parties, identifies excessively with brand names, spends a female amount of money on clothes and obsesses over his appearance to a degree that is not socially acceptable for a heterosexual male.
2. Bros actually chose this name for themselves as they often refer to each other as “bro” even though they are not related. It is not uncommon for them to have spiked hair with frosted tips.
3. Bros ruin everything they touch. They are deeply racist, yet vulture-ize black culture with attempts to be “down”, while living as far from any ghetto as humanly possible. It’s because they seek danger, or the illusion of it.
4. Bros enjoy the presence of attractive women, but are also content with simply “broing out”.
5. Bro footwear comprises mostly of sperry topsiders, flip flops, and asics runners.
6. Bros are knowledgeable about most spectator sports and attend sporting events regularly.

There you have it; more show than your local yayo man, less class than a politician and a societal disease unraveling across the world. Tread tepidly, bros are everywhere! Bro.

“Bro, I hope they don’t cancel the F1!”

Posted in Current Events Class on May 25, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

Mainstream media’s abysmal coverage of the “student strike” can simply be classified as ten pounds of $hit in a five pound bag – not like that should come as any surprise. For a local media used to reporting on such issues as high bacteria counts in public swimming pools and backseat driver opinions on the Montreal Canadiens, this social unrest biz is a bit outside their scope.

Perhaps without an approved narrative from politicians or corporations, the “reporters” are at a complete loss, since the events may call for “investigative practices” not normally utilized outside of journalism school case studies. They are even failing to recognize that the thousands upon thousands of people walking around all peeved and $hit are NOT ALL STUDENTS. WHAT? Social unrest. But this is Canada, land of the pleasant, non-voting, pro-consumer citizen. Correction, this is Quebec. Same passport, different country. Unrest has historically occurred in this part of the country and not too many other parts.

Hunter S Thompson’s “Hells Angels” account of immersing himself in the biker culture of Northern California in the mid 60’s is a reminder of how out-of-touch journalists, h*ll bent on fear mongering and complete situational misunderstanding report differently on the same events. Of course everyone’s perception can and will be different, but getting past appearance and prejudice to report actual facts is a likely a key to objective journalism. Likely.

With regard to Bill 78 (which essentially restricts the act of protesting) Leger Marketing concludes “If you are older, anglophone, rich or live in the Quebec City area you support the tough bill. If you are from Montreal, young, francophone or have lower revenues, chances are you oppose it.” <- This is the line of opinion you should assume. Read it, memorize it and discuss with co-workers. The youth have nothing to complain about, they drink $6 latte’s and own smart phones. Textbook terrorists. Duh.

Is it not funny how the only time the protests turn to vandalism and other malicious behaviour is when police forces mobilize and attempt to detain unarmed citizens wearing red felt squares? Is it not funny how the government, you know, the one’s with the power to actually rule over its citizens, are essentially following the logic to “ignore the problem and it will go away”? It may work for crabs and the clap, but I doubt the momentum seen here is just gonna disappear.

Care to bet on it? <- Is it any wonder this was published in the Gazette’s Entertainment section…

Plateau Cacerolazo

Posted in Current Events Class on May 23, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

Ghetto bird choppers.
Lego men coppers.

Petri dish demographic;
$hit continues to be caustic.

Beat your pots and pans;
Ya finna get ya man.

And by man, the target seems to be John James Charest. Yep, he was once mostly Anglo, but people just call him Jean to appease Chapter 1064, subsection 69 of La Loi 101.

still thanking our mother’s

Posted in Trippin` on May 17, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

speed blurs, no photos and little memory exist from the friday treadmill sessions, so here is a saturday/sunday snippet

all photos by Lily

Never sail on a Friday

Posted in Trippin`, Uncategorized on May 16, 2012 by SLUDGE SODA

Chief Feathers summoned the other savages with a 12PM smoke signal. No, not the same smoke signals affecting the White Man’s tunnel transportation system. After much humming and hawing, it was agreed the wagon would part around 7PM to avoid speed detection by White Man with speed gun. A brick of Bud, Robaxacet, Life Brand flavoured nuts, 12 mix ‘n match sandwiches and quinoa salad are a modern tribe’s munch’ems.

Smoke Signal Rcvd: “We are in low and conditions look good. I am touring and you will arrive in perfect timing. HASTA PRONTO!%-”

Pow Wow No. 1:
*Marinated pork tenderloin
*Honey garlic sausages
*Garrison Bitter
*Philly cheese infused BBQ’d Sweet Pot’s
*Butter n Bacon fried mushies
*Sante Fe salad

Pow Wow No. 2:
*Langosta Parmesan dip
*Langosta a la sabor Peruana
*Mission Hill Pinot Grigio
*Arroz perfecta!
*Philly cheese infused BBQ’d Sweet Pot’s again
*Jost NS Port for dessert

With waves nearly as fun as the pow wow’s and time spent with El Ray y familia, we certainly thanked our mother’s for allowing the trip to transpire.