mid-winter’s plight of the surf starved river sufferer

There forms a sort of vortex in the middle of a snowstorm where headlights hamper any sense of direction at the same time nearly hypnotizing you like the opening credits of CJ Parker running in Baywatch. Consequentially, you drive 40km/h, happy that it’s a two lane road, but wishing for some sort of safety net on either side of the snow bank and guard rail.

You fidget, wipe your face frantically, open the window, drink Red Bull, eat pineapple, any-thing, anything to stay alert, but the hum of Japanese death trap construction just lulls you further into comatose.

One 360 degree spin to stall in the middle of the road is lucky. Especially in Friday night traffic. A second 360 degree spin through an inch of snow, topped with an inch of water is just scary. Thankfully, the good folks of road construction design think of these guard rail things. Strategically placed at that!

But what the good folks of guard rail construction don’t think of is such concepts as the Size Keeper™. We’ll let your imagination fill in the blanks on that one, but let’s just say it evolved from the Rapo think tank of winter surfing problems in need of solutions. Smart guys down at Rapo and I heard they make killer brie and mushroom omelets, to boot.

Saturday driving tours are the norm after the belly has been filled and we roll 4 deep. People hate that. I hate that. But it is what it is just like sideshore chop is not afternoon glass. So it goes in a mid-winter storm. At least there are friendly faces and relocated locals to hang with.

Red wine, Propeller bitter, Philly Cheese steak pizza and a bacon salad, with Caesar dressing and romaine lettuce – that is all I remember before drifting off into the deep deep end.

Gettin’ er done, Mtl style, near surf city, Tofino ainnit?


2 Responses to “mid-winter’s plight of the surf starved river sufferer”

  1. l'inglés Says:

    Viva el Rey!!!

  2. I may have seen you out in the watta last weekend. I was at that spot with the clean face at first light. there were some good ones that’s for sure. then Monday afternoon I got some small clean leftovers. life is good innit? East swell tomorrow.

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