Tripoli Surf Camp

It’s that time of year again folks. Grab 7-8 of your closest surfing buddies and join us, Instacrowd Surf Camp Conquistadores to trade the harsh realities of the wintery Canadian landscape for sunny Libya. A new location for 2011!

As you may have heard, Seal Team 69, unmanned drones or some other form of taxpayer-funded contract militia has snuffed the former recipient of billions of dollars of North American “foreign aid” which ironically helped maintain his iron fist of tyranny for decades and defer his fall from grace through several months of an ArmaLite-armed billion dollar war.

Nelly Furtado even feels icky (not about the Condoleeza Rice portraits from months ago) and is threatening to give the 1M of Gaddafi private performance money to charity. Let’s see; Canada gives 1M to Libya. Said tyrant gives 1M to Nelly. Nelly gives 1M to Charity(other name for corporation type that pays less tax than others). Charity trades money to Libya for mineral rights. Canada refunds Nelly 0.4M through a donation tax credit. I believe in financial circles they call this the full reach around.

And don’t get your panties in a knot over politics or the presumption you may have to consume “local” food and swill, we keep our fridges stocked with all the best from home: Pogo’s, the complete Hungry Man line, ready-in-five Timbits, Dinner Kraft and Coors Lite. Of course we have Occupation Double and Tout le Monde en Crack transmitting live from the motherland, bro.

Guides? We are your guides, but we also pay about $1/day between a dozen locals to do the gritty work around the resort and complete the mine-dodging, flamingo walk to the break each session. They will also pull you outside and back in onto waves with a nifty rope system they have created. Paddling is just so, umm, passe and its the Med, so we do as we please here.

Out with the tyrant – in with the foreign investment, “democracy” and disaster tourism.

Now on the coattails of a dead man [w]e’ll ride
On the coattails of a dead man [w]e’ll ride
On the coattails of a dead man [w]e’ll ride [w]e’ll ride
On the coattails of a dead man [w]e’ll ride [w]e’ll ride high!

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Tripoli Surf Camp”

  1. may your post-birth-surf feasting rival only that of a qaḏḏāfī banger

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: