The joust hath begun, the knights are out in full gallop, halberds erect. It is A WAR!!!!

Traffic at the wave suddenly came to a halt in the late hours following the chaste and friendly banana sundae.  IS THIS THE END OF INNOCENCE? THE ERA OF TRANQUILITY IS GONE, THE SWELL IS ON…

In the deepest hours of the night; as the inHabitant lot was resourcing their cortisol levels; the revered yet congested take-off landscape was mercilessly getting slaughtered with a table saw…you read me possums…a table saw.

Faultless blood was shed..violence lingers in the air since that dreadful night..just a few weeks before Halloween might we add.

Comments and bad thoughts gushed for days as all souls expressed their discombobulation at the macabre sight of the …stump; some camouflaging their real thoughts under a bouquet of eco-minded comments, or blaming it on the dangers of letting surf-infants play with the rope..

Prior to this age-defining incident both sides of the rope subliminally defended their turf away from the rink of frank discussion. Hence for lack of words, the sword fell on the innocent tree.

As an unbiased source tried to explain, for the purists the rope is a heretic blow to authenticity…

For the ropies, it was just an ingenuous way to avoid frustration and unwanted loss of energy. Little tree was a friend, almost animate, who gave it all helping riders on the way to bliss.

Anyway, rebuttal never got to the tectonic layers of the debate. Perhaps , as some witnesses comment, it was all about the surcharge and the smell of foot decay.

Expert demographer and war expert once commented, citing Hum-the-wise: “exponential population growth without corresponding carrying capacity will eventually breed violence. Peace usually comes back in time. So do trees.


Nobody …almost nobody … is above suspicion in this unfortunate event and all stick holders now unhealthily gaze at each other wondering “did he do it?”, was it a blonde..? Does he have a short stick? Maybe he (or she) tortured his (her) hamster when he (she) was a kid…

Although suspects were reported fleeing from the scene by disquieted residents, no formal accusations have been made. It is also unlikely any formal investigation can be triggered without an appropriate in-kind budget.


Expert shrink  Dr. S.F. advises not to engage in heated discussions on the topic until waters recede. It is likely that the culprit was trained to the wave, as some of us, in a harsh and psychologically taxing context where life hangs from the thin rope of fear: “you can take da rope n drown or i can drown u right now…..swim motha focka” (reference will provided upon request).

Moral of the story? the message is loud and clear and reads as follows:

Now lets just get back to surfing and other earnest matters.




  1. l'anglais Says:

    There’s a few “can’t see the forest for the trees”-type-comments to be made about this whole rigmarole, but, I don’t teach on weekends. Figure it out for yourselves, possums!

  2. Possums Huddled About Sharing Monocle, WiFi and Cutty Sark Says:

    Debate rages as the possums are still unclear if it was a tree or a weed?

    The tree hugging, dolphin kissing, patchouli wearing possums in our circle believe it to be staghorn sumac or rhus typhina. A loveable deciduous shrub which sprouts a cluster of small berries that can be boiled down into a delightful lemonade.

    The eldest of us possums believes it to be a ghetto palm, or in the words of the internet “Ailanthus altissima. Commonly known as tree of heaven, ailanthus, is a deciduous tree in the Simaroubaceae family. Ailanthus is invasive and, graceful as it is, it should be controlled. They say ailanthus competes with native species and recent studies show that it uses chemical warfare to kill off at least 35 other plant species.”

    Any other possums out there with a tinkle more insight into scientific plant classification and identification?

    Thanks in advance.

    As ever,
    Sarco Possum

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