Horses for Courses

After 2 years spent fawning over the mini simmons porn splattered across websites of people trying to make money selling surfboards via piggybacking the freeride exploits of RK and Pty, I finally chanced upon a rental. Yes, a rental.

Cleverly disguised as a “high performance board” amidst a bone yard of soft tops, South Point widgets and forgotten towels at the Long Beach Surf Shop barn. At 5’8″ and ALL THAT volume, cripes did it feel like a dog. But it didn’t look like a dog, as the island local shaper Lorne Acheson makes some pretty nice craft. Even with my albatross-like wing span, it was an uncomfortable 23″ of planing hull under the pits. Not to mention the looks of wonder from open minders and dismay from members of the high performance surfers union. The haters are gonna hate so fuck em.

Unsurprisingly, the first few waves went terrible. It was like my first ever session on a twin keel spent trying to surf like a thruster. YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG! Some minor adjustments and I started to get the hang of it. Sorta. The waves were knee to waist high, short interval and kissed with overly onshore breezes – not conducive to gliding, but open enough for some drop in to floater kine thrashing. I could feel the volume working for me, but there wasn’t much to work with.

An infinitesimal bump in swell and complete shut down of the wind cleaned up the conditions for the next couple days and it was there where my love for this simminoid fostered. In smallish conditions combined with a 192 current weigh in I was able to maneuver THAT THING around in the most suprising of ways. All THAT extra planing surface eliminated groveling and permitted easy gliding amongst other san o favorites. All THAT extra girth makes it possible forto fade back on a drop and do the kookiest, overshoot-the-trough bottom turn to peter pan glide back up the face. Glee. All THAT extra volume made for absurdly far shoulder to dig a rail pick your nose and somehow glisse back to the pocket cutbacks. Simminoid forgiving to pilot error. Check.

Basically. THAT thing was fun as all heck and a welcome addition to any woman or man’s quiver.


One Response to “Horses for Courses”

  1. boarder95 Says:

    mini simon …… de la balle ….

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