Archive for August, 2011

tech-nique from cedric the plumber

Posted in Tourist Information on August 31, 2011 by SLUDGE SODA

addendum to rio surf 101 from conrad orrison

the swimmer is…

a) mark tewksbury’s contribution to surfing
b) completely functional and utterly disgusting
c) safety first b*tches
d) to river suffering what the wool knit sweater is to pm Stevo Harper
e) ___________________________________________

el marketing en los tiempos del colera and love for hyperlinks

Posted in Current Events Class on August 30, 2011 by SLUDGE SODA

Now I could really care less about a bunch of bro’s performing in a judged event anywhere, but this latest Quik fuckery is extraordinarily genius. Spead a vague rumour of a story that the event MIGHT be cancelled, days before it is set to begin. And by vague, we’re discussing the cancelation of bmx, rollerblading, muscle man comps vs the surf circus.

First thoughts being that this is an excellent way to emotionally engage the audience. And by audience, I mean the critical mass of pedantic souls who are mesmerized by what they see on CNN.

Maybe now people will finally liken to buying ugly board shorts from a vending machine. That’s a big maybe.

Ethics ’bout as low as their stock price. Yew!

At least the forecast hints at the possibility of waves for the spectacle. And by spectacle, please read the good word from St Peter of Bowes.
Good word 1   Good word 2  Good word 3
Good.

The last Navajo beyond the 49th parallel

Posted in Current Events Class on August 29, 2011 by SLUDGE SODA

2 days before blast off it became known that Fernando is Navajo.

No we can’t confirm the percentage or roots.

But do wish him luck in ns.

aloha and the media presentation of a hurricane

Posted in Current Events Class on August 28, 2011 by SLUDGE SODA

after 1 single day of deliberation, the jury has unanimously concluded that high audio dosages of don ho is the last ingredient to world peace.

if ‘cane irene doesn’t sweep away the ENTIRE eastern seabourd.

be afraid. be very afraid. wah! ha! ha!

FUCK SURF LESIONS and lessons too

Posted in Good Surfing on August 27, 2011 by SLUDGE SODA

surf lessons. ha, what an oxymoron.
this is a life lesson. pay attention.
and get some popped corn cuz it’s worth the read.

part 1

part 2

shame this level of text and knowledge could never be part of a surf magazine or lesson.

6 Tage in München

Posted in back in the staticness, Dark Chamber, Good Surfing, Less Than VHS, Trippin` on August 26, 2011 by SLUDGE SODA

jour 1 (la journée qui ne finie jamais )

minuit départ de lagrave direct apres la job , 2h de route petite pause au lac de annecy , ensuite straight to geneve ,vol a amsterdam pour 3h d escale

ensuite vol pour munich , direction la vague qui est entre le terminal 1 et 2 , mais qu’est que je fais la

bon allez je vais la surfer , pour toute la journée je n’ai fait que de tomber , meme pas capable de faire l aller retour , quelle merde (maman let me come home )

allez  une chose de bien guigui a des restes de amsterdam au moins on va bien dormir

jour 2 (same shit diferent day )

et comme par magie je trouve le moyen de faire un peu moins dur et meme quelques chears a mon égard ouff feel good

jour 3 ( jour de qualification )

meme si je ne peux pas vraiment surfer la vague je  ne suis pas obligé de faire la premiere journée de compét,  je passe direct au final day alors journée downtown

et voila je suis rendu ici

comme c bon de surfer la riviere love it

ok time to go back a la compét , pour voir ce qui ce passe

bon allez un peu de surf ca va faire du bien , et blam la machine en panne pour 1h et puis voila c bon on est reparti

jours 4 ( the real comp day)

allez c bon le but est de ne pas finir dernier , battre marlon lipke , battre au moins un mec du fus crew , pour le reste I dont care

 

allez la compét est fini pour moi jai réussi a remplir mes objectifs et meme plus (time to party) et voir la final

jour 5 ( j ai mal a la tete )

reveil a 13h petite session sur eisbach 

jour 6 (time to go home )

derniere petite session a l aéroport , juste assez de temps pour defoncer mon board ( pull out the futur fins insert )

merci a citywave , la mere a guigui , yoyo , bjoern , carsten ,and all munich surf comunity , the swiss ans the swedish connection , and every one else ..

A Rope is a Tool not a Crutch

Posted in Current Events Class on August 23, 2011 by SLUDGE SODA

China is no joke, kids! As I sit here in my boxers and Knicks jersey (Labelled Ewing #33  for those who are wondering) and bang away at this post (while sipping a tall can of Du Moulin…for those who are wondering), I can’t help but notice the deep contusion on my hamstring and wonder why I didn’t feel it when it happened.

I remember getting turkey-bucked in the pit and scrambling for the surface on one run today, but who knows. Coulda happened at any point during my sesh, really. In China, kids, if your board doesn’t pay the price, your body will. Just ask McGoon’s bloodied beak!

Which brings me back to the beginning. China is no joke. Especially when your leash snaps!! (Is it too soon to start lumping Creatures of Leisure in with that Firewire garbage?). Luckily, Sludge swillers are ingenious-by-nature and never let an equipment failure get in the way of one last run. Take note.

This is the second time my leash has failed me on the Big Juice and I have had to swim after my board. I didn’t panic the second time around, but I don’t wish it on anyone…even those HPC cats.

Anyways, here’s what you do if your leash comes apart at the joint that links the leash with the ankle strap. Flip your leash around and use a Chinese Knot (A Sludgey version of the Gordian Knot) to attach your leash to the little rope looped in the leash plug.

It actually held until the end of our session. Seriously.

Now take the other end of your leash and wrap it around your ankle. It’s a little small and the exposed velcro will be a bit uncomfortable…but only for rope-tuggers.

Take your what-you-thought-was-now-useless ankle strap and wrap that around for support…and style.

Now hit that pit!