McGoon – Part 1

Ok, so, we here at Sludge Soda have been considering, for some time now, to profile some of the guzzlers that imbibe our fine elixir for the instantaneous relief and guaranteed cure that it provides.  Lemme tell ya, there is no shortage of candidates…and they will all get their due, but fair’s fair. Meaning…lets start with the original braumeister himself, McGoon.

I’ve had this post on the boil for weeks and am still not sure where to begin, but,  I guess we can start with when I first met McGoon. I was looking for a board for my lady and heard from a friend that McGoon might have something for me. However, I was told that I’d have to contact him through a certain social networking site cuz the guy is more plugged in than a toaster. Fair’nuff. This is what went down :

L’Anglais: “Hey McGoon!, how much you asking for the board?”

McGoon: “What’s up Brosif?!!  I bought it brand new and it was 800$CND. I am selling it at 475$CND. feel free to call any time 514-MTL-GNAR”

L’Anglais: “Ok, thanks! Ya, I’m looking for a board for my gf and I’m thinking yours is a bit too wide for my lady (cuz she’s small and needs a narrow board for paddling) and a bit more than I wanted to pay. But, I’ll keep it in mind!”

McGoon: “sorry! i would only sell this board to hardcore lovers of the wavesliding. this is by no means a beginner board. it isnt wide at all. its an Egg Shape. This type board is the pre-curser to the 80’s board revolution. and these are classic dimensions for this type board. its not a river or beach break board. its made for performance riding on point breaks and rock bottom rollers. Donald Takayama is truly one of the great shapers of all time. this is and will be a collectors item. hand made and not machine made. classed in house. so this board is and will be sold to those who truly appreciate it. thanks for your honesty. i suggest you go down to new hampshire to get a board in your price range for your lady. cinnamon rainbow has a vast selection more suited to your needs. it was good talking to you and good luck on getting a board.”

See what I mean? Awesome!!! Notice his outstanding use of surf vernacular? See how much he adores wave sliding and wants to make sure I end up with the right shred stick? Respect!

The above-photo speaks for itself. He rips. And if you think that’s impressive, the guy’s got a great career too! He punches in on-a-daily at a some Black-Op financial firm that specializes in de-frauding foreign governments and funding right-wing paramilitary groups.  Impressed yet?  “I’m a soldier of the digital apocalypse” he’s always telling me, or, “My computer kills Dems dead”. A true inspiration to all wave-sliders and soul surfers!

Did I mention that McGoon can thrash with the best of’em??!!

So, I’m a few Sodas deep into this post and am starting to lose focus…or maybe I’m gaining focus. Hard to say. The beauty of Sludge Soda is that not only is it savoury and a true delight to drain, but its effects are entirely self-determined and self-determining.

Ok, lets wrap this up, but not before we have a close look at McGoon’s whip. People say that you can tell a lot about a man by the shoes he wears, but to me, it’s the car that defines the man, and McGoon is no exception. Do I even need to write anything more? The guy is a living legend, folks!


2 Responses to “McGoon – Part 1”

  1. Neocon bru Says:

    mcgoon sounds like he swills Palm Bay’s and surfs an ’09 firewire.

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