How To…Clear A Crowded Lineup at Evening Glass Off‏

“Just one more, then I’ll go in for dinner.”
Ever heard that one before?
Statistically, the last last one will take forever and your stomach will growl in discontent. Realistically, your last good wave should have been your last, but greed is a tough hunger to curb. Perhaps your mood will turn sour and you may even purposely drop in on someone, solely on the premise that it’s your last wave and you won’t be there to deal with the guy you burned.

Sludge Soda has developed NEW! technology to help clear crowded, empty stomach evening lineups of growly bears.
We call it the Charcoal Barby Smokeout.


*set up a charcoal grill upwind from those sitting in the lineup.
*the 20+min to get the charcoals stoked should perk the senses of the target market as it conjures up vivid memories of Euro and Latin street meat or even that SE Asia girly boy oversight.
*toss on some fab grill ‘ems and watch the lineup clear as the fat drips down, sizzling upon hot rock contact. Tsssssssssss.
*crack a local brew, let the meat cook slow ‘n low and study the lineup.
*as you eat, hungry surfers en masse will paddle in, stop and they might even say “hey, that smells good, I was wondering where that smell was coming from.”

You will nod, mumble incoherently “the plan is working” and mention “looks pretty fun out there.” They won’t even understand why they are leaving a pumping lineup to go feed their belly, but Eddie Bernays might.


One Response to “How To…Clear A Crowded Lineup at Evening Glass Off‏”

  1. l'anglais Says:

    The Goons…leading the way as the they go, as usual.

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