Pas Pire

Transmitting live from the coconut wireless network, Sludge Soda joins voyageur L’Anglais. Our best sources indicate he is deep in the jungle, sitting cross legged, eating rice with his fingers, chewing betel nut and smoking cloves. However, we never listen to our sources and had to find out for ourselves the true definition of the word ‘sabbatical’.  

Good day sir, it is a pleasure to have you join us via coconut wireless.
“In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary…come again?!  

Aside from some sweaty internet corner, just where are you situated right now?
“Hikkaduwa, Sri Lanka. Actually, Wewala Beach just outside Hikka to be precise.”  

How have the wave conditions been?
“I touched down 3 weeks ago and the first real swell showed up last night. Bananas. Never seen waves come in so quickly and consistently. But, even when it’s “pancake” there’s still always something to surf.”  

Have you burned any locals yet? Consequences?
“I haven’t dropped in on anybody yet but the locals are pretty good at it. Whatever. So many waves. I heard a Japanese girl got smacked the other day b/c she was “in the way”. Lets just say there are some ornery elements in the water. Surfers can be real assholes sometimes.”  

Do you wish you woulda dragged your log across the continent or is their a suitable one for hire?
“Last week, I took a day-trip to a mouse-sized town about 45 minutes away from Hikka, called Midigama, and wished I’d had my log. It had two breaks. “Ram’s Right” which wasn’t working, and “Lazy Left”, which was. Fat wave that spins but never really breaks. My GF’s retro fish woulda been sweet too.”  

What does sabbatical mean to you? 
Endless Summer  

Which song best describes your current pace of life? 
“Aint no Donna but Yu” by Yellowman and Fathead  

What did you eat for breaky this morning?
“Dried Cashews. I skipped breaky cuz the waves were pumpin. But, normally, toast, cheese omelet, papaya, small pot of coffee. That feast’ll run ya a whoppin 3$.  

Sri Lankan dep culture. Discuss. 
“Deps everywhere and they have a little of everything. I feel right at home. The only thing they’re missing are walk-in beer fridges!  

Toilet paper or left hand?
TP…from the dep.  

Which do you miss more: your crock pot, urban creeping or cutting ropes?
Oh damn, I miss creepin and swervin on my horse…no question.  

A Tamil Tiger is:
 Yet another group of human beings crushed by the twin steamrollers of ‘progress’ and ‘democracy’  

Left for dead, somewhere in the Indian, or just right now, 3 essential vinyl to your phonograph?
Willie Nelson’s “Shotgun Willie”, Jimi Hendrix’s “Axis: Bold as Love” and….”Out of step” by Minor Threat.  

3 reasons to sell the farm and relocate to SL?
Rice’n’curry, my 6/5 winter wetsuit collecting dust back home, and my sunburnt beak.  

Have you sampled the local shine? If not what is the apres beverage of choice?
The local beer is “Lion” beer. Good…not great. Local sauce is “Arrak”. Kinda like a medeciny whiskey…good with coke and lime.  

10 bucks Cdn is like 1050 Rupees – what can I buy?
“A nice room in a beach-side guest house. Another 10 bones gets you 3 decent meals. Get the picture?  

What’s the last thing you expected to see in Sri Lanka?
Dude, a kayaker in the line-up the other day. We were howling. I’ve got a lotta respect for the guys who paddle China Beach year-round, but this guy the other day had no business out there. He was getting tossed around. It was like Bambi-on-ice.  

PEACE to all the Goons! Keep the shred alive!  




One Response to “Pas Pire”

  1. gatekeeper Says:

    im looking to comme to meet you

    getting to gard china in winter suck

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: