Smooth Operator

Biff Tannén trudged alongside the fence with a shiny new surf and still-stinks-of-rubber-not-pee wetsuit.
Last week’s pedicure at the Dix30 certainly wasn’t going to waste, 7mm booties protected his piggies.
Biff’s face was glowing from the latest epic tanning salon session.
Freshly bleached teeth accented his Colgate smile.
“Dumb” by The Jonas Brothers feat. Timbaland played and replayed in his head.
A perennial pre-surf amp up.
He had thoughtfully consumed the duo of creatine monohydrate and soy protein shake to physically prepare for this extreme sport.
It was working. He could feel the power.
Ahead, he noticed a lone babe checking the action.
As he approached the tall brunette, he knew his day was about to brighten.
“Wanna join?”  Inquired Biff.
Half stunned, half insulted, she replied “ah, no thanks.”
“You know you wanna,” he charmingly quipped and flashed a big, toothy grin.
The brunette turned away.
Biff shook it off.
Walking away, his dragging leash hooked on a root and brought him to his knees.
“I can still crush walnuts between my sculpted pecs” he stammered in self assurance, before getting up, paddling out and proceeding to flush a third consecutive time.

Looks like Habitat will have a new surf school in twenty ten.



2 Responses to “Smooth Operator”

  1. […] solitude at last from the infectious Biff Tannen […]

  2. l'anglais Says:

    You are out there, McGoon. Out there.

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