No New Tale To Tell

It has happened before and it will surely happen again.
Cumdumpster No. 3 - The Athletic One

Cumdumpster No. 3 - The Athletic One

Douchebag jet ski slackjaw rednecks jumping over our heads, zipping way too close for their limited abilities and then shooting idiotic sprays at an innocent surfer clawing his way up the already slippery snakes & ladders reef.

And there we stood, three defenceless surfers facing three softcock jet ski wankjobs.
Nothing to do but curse and watch as these inbred fucktards zoomed around in circles.

After feeling defeated and somewhat helpless for about 45 seconds, a glimmer of hope came streaking across the horizon on a jolly red sled.

Hell no it wasn’t St. Nick.
It was Monkey and an unidentified rider.
Timing is everything.

Blood boiled, rocks were gathered, plans hatched, a chase and guard stance followed.

The slednecks got the message and scooted away for an afternoon of mustache rides and salad tossing.

Victory-at-sea, bitches.

The unidentified rider was Elijah Mack and he’ll be terrorizing local waters on his week-long voyage to Lower Canada.

It’s an honor to have him here.



7 Responses to “No New Tale To Tell”

  1. […] The second day began with much uncertainty.  Monkey, the man with the ski, who was supposed to haul our lazy asses around all day, was nowhere to be seen.  JL, L’Anglais and I went out on paddle power for 3 hours before running into some kine, special folks.  […]

  2. Stand TALL Goons…

  3. Jeff! Alex! Jean Louis! Monkey! Dave was not there, next time!

    I was honored to surf with you guys!

    Thanks for everything!!!!!

    I guess Terrorizing was not an understatement considering what went down at 67.

    That’s life!!!



    I wish I had my Shotgun and dog, for the dickhead Jet ski crew and a few of the surfers at habitat.

    Guess I’m just a fuckin GOON!!!!!

  4. gaite keeper Says:


  5. Mess with a bull, you get the horn,
    Fuck with the Goons, and get popped like corn.

  6. Now that was the wrong crew to mess. Poor idiots jet-necks couldn’t have picked a worse day. Where any shotguns or enormous dogs unleashed? Looking forward to more stories.


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